africa-will-unite:

"I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. [some whistles and cheers from the audience] Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. [applause] Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental hall of fame…he don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to somethin’ the white man can walk to." Chris Rock

africa-will-unite:

"I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. [some whistles and cheers from the audience] Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. [applause] Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental hall of fame…he don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to somethin’ the white man can walk to." Chris Rock

120,868 notes

if you don’t want to quit smoking cigarettes yet, just you wait until the day you get out of breath from having sex. it’ll happen.
my ex-smoker psych professor

1 note

My hair was doing a nice thing and so I felt it appropriate to document. Also today was the last day of my internship so my lovely collared shirts will be put away until the next big-girl job. Le sigh.

My hair was doing a nice thing and so I felt it appropriate to document. Also today was the last day of my internship so my lovely collared shirts will be put away until the next big-girl job. Le sigh.

6 notes

Anonymous asked: it really is too bad that I am sooooooo married. You're a hottie.

thank you!  and in my opinion, being sooooooo married shouldn’t impede your enjoyment of other people, especially those who just exist (functionally) for you online =)

moltres:

overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them

image

283,327 notes